Even a virus can’t stop the Coodabeen Champions
Having a laugh with the Coodabeen Champions on the way to the footy is as real as it gets for fans.
As Greg Champion has long mused: "That's the thing about football."
And even tough there is no football to help us through these days of isolation, the Coodabeens haven't bottomed out and are going strong in their 40th year.
Their unique comedy and ramblings endure each Saturday on ABC Radio from 10am.
Not bad for a couple of young graduates who started on community station 3RRR because they felt there was nothing on air where fans could have a voice.
Over the years they have included Simon Whelan and Tony Leonard plus today's Coodabeens Jeff "Torch" McGee, Jeff Richardson (Richo), Ian Cover (Covey), Greg Champion (Champs) and Billy Baxter.
"This is our 40th year … Blue Heelers didn't even go that long,'' Cover said.
"It seems like one long year to me. When we started we never had any idea or notion how long it would go for.
"But it keeps going because there are listeners who want it.
"We might have even been declared an essential service now.
"People say we need a chuckle, and need something normal in this crazy world.
"And even with footy suspended, we're doing two hours of that."
Favourite segments have included Covey's Quiz, Guru Bob and Footy Talkback with Torch.
Champion estimates he's sung 4500 songs.
"I jokingly say it's like three marriages, as far as hanging with the same wife or wives,'' he said.
"A song called VFL Park in the Dark, came out about 94, that's my favourite."
Champs credits long-time Channel 7 producer and head of sport, Gordon Bennett, as "the saint" in the rise of That's The Thing About Football which featured on Channel 7's football coverage for almost a decade.
"I met Mike Brady at a gig and he said let's try and write a footy song and six months later I had an idea and I took it to Brady and we cooked it up,'' he said.
"Then I sent it to Gordon, I reckon he might have been looking for another (Up There) Cazaly and he said I think you're trying to tell too much of a story.
"I said to Gordon 'do me a favour and listen to the end because it builds up', and he called me back saying, 'I like it now'. I haven't had a lucky break like that since."
Champion hasn't let the coronavirus escape his wit, writing songs about social distancing, hand sanitiser and toilet paper.
CONUNDRUM OF FOOTBALL SONG
(To the tune of That's the Thing About Football, co-written with Dylan Leach)
I've got my handwash, my face mask on
I still dunno if there's a game to go to
Footy's off, footy's on again
Strange days indeed my friend, and
That's the mystery of That's the quandary of
The conundrum of, the challenge for football
I'll Skype my friend if we cannot go
we'll try and watch it, on an iPhone
Avoid touching, keep washing our hands
And be long range, loungeroom fans, and
That's the mystery of, that's the quandary of
The conundrum of, the challenge for football
That's where footy's at right now
Gotta get used to that somehow, and
That's the mystery of, that's the quandary of
The conundrum of, the challenge for football
SELF-ISOLATION SONG
(To the tune of Eve of Destruction)
The world we know is, disintegratin'
This is a shock to the whole population
The natural world may feel that a good thing
But the people never had it so confronting and they're CH.
Telling me, they're telling me, over and over again my friend
We've got to stay in complete, self-isolation
We've got to stay in complete, self-isolation
Think of all the people there are down in China
Think of all the people up in, Oodnadatta
This could track you down, if you're in, Humpty Do
It could come and get you in, Kalangadoo
When will it end, well, no-one can tell
When we can crawl back, out of our shells
We could miss a whole season of footy my friend
When will we ever watch a, game again
SOCIAL DISTANCING SONG
(To the tune of Locomotion)
Everybody's doin' it so just get it done now
Come on baby, keep a social distance
If you try it out you'll find it's buckets of fun, now
Come on baby, keep a social distance
It's something the authorities, want you to do
I don't mean a metre apart, I mean TWO
Come on come on, keep a social distance with me
Hey do not get too close now ... uh-huh
Step back, step back, yeah now another metre back
When you're out in public and You're caught in a queue now
Come on baby, keep a social distance
You will find it easy, when you know what to do now
Come on baby, keep a social distance
When you're in the grog shop See the tape on the floor
That's what the authorities, put it there for, so
Come on come on keep a social distance with me
Hey do not get too close now... uh-huh
Step back, step back, yeah now another metre back
Come on baby, keep a social distance
Come on baby, keep a social distance
HAND SANITISER SONG
(To the tune of Smoke on The Water)
We went to the supermarket to see what we could get
Everybody flocked there till there was not much left
We hoarded and we stashed it and then got more again
But though we tried and tried we could not score one thing - hand sanitiser!
Has anybody got some - Hand sanitiser!
When they spoke of scoring it once meant plastic bags
Back when folks were sharing interesting fags
Things that weren't quite legal people looked for them
Who'd have thought that one day the shortage would extend - to
Hand sanitiser!
Has anybody got some - Hand sanitiser
Originally published as Even a virus can't stop the Coodabeen Champions
