Husband’s ‘insane’ sex plea sparks fury
Tanner Tolbert's wife may have only just given birth to their second child a month ago but that hasn't stopped him from calling her out for not having enough sex with him post-baby.
US reality TV stars Tanner and Jade Roper, met on Bachelor in Paradise and welcomed son Brooks last month.
On her Instagram Jade has described the birth as traumatic, with the reality star giving birth in just 75 minutes after going into labour in her walk-in wardrobe.
Speaking on podcast The Viall Files, Tanner acknowledged that while Jade's focus "should be on the kids, not me," he feels on "the back burner" - yes really, that's what he said.
"It took a dive (when Jade started nursing first child Emmy) and then pretty much right after the breastfeeding stopped, we got pregnant again with Brooks," he told podcast host and US Bachelor star Nick Viall.
"And now he's here and we have two kids. It is tough. I feel like I've begged for it. And I don't want to feel selfish - I hate asking, I hate trying, because I don't want it to be pity sex."
Tanner added that their relationship had "changed completely" since giving birth, with Jade wanting to get intimate less while he wants more sex.
Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long for Tanner's comments to get a reaction on social media:
Whoa my doctor didn’t even clear me for sex for 8-10 weeks after baby. Her body is still healing and she’s been through physical and emotional trauma. Give her some time and support.— RP562826 (@RP562826) August 29, 2019
OH MY GOSH!!! Your wife JUSTTTTTTT had a baby and has a two year old that she's used to having all her one on one time with and a house to take care of OF COURSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!! RUDE.— Ls Mama (@amandapaige37) August 29, 2019
If he wants sex, all he has to do is the laundry, vacuuming, dusting, and everything else that she can’t get done because of the baby, and then she’ll have enough time & energy to jump his bones. Simple— Gina (@ginajacobs820) August 29, 2019
Yo tanner. Your wife just had a baby in her closet. No meds and you’re mad about waiting to have sex until she’s completely healed?! Man, that’s insane!— Jennifer (@Jennifermoneto) August 29, 2019
@ttolbert05 Just an fyi that sex is on the back burner longer than 4 weeks after a traumatic birth (in the master closet counts)...how about cleaning the house, making a meal and getting some laundry done for your partnership in raising children with @jadelizroper ?— MGE (@Marlie_GE) August 29, 2019
According to Family Planning NSW it's recommended women wait "between four and six weeks to resume penetrative sex" after giving birth.
"That's with lots of considerations, and depends on what kind of delivery the mother had … if she had tears, if she's uncomfortable and if she's breastfeeding - which can cause vaginal dryness and discomfort - among other things," the organisation's medical director Dr Deborah Bates told body+soul.
"There are wide variations - and the most important thing is that a woman is setting her own timeline. Some women take weeks, some take months, and some take even longer - there are no hard and fast rules, so it's best to consult a healthcare practitioner to find out what is right for your unique circumstance."
In an Instagram post, Jade described her surprise home birth as "one of the scariest moments of my life".
View this post on Instagram
I accidentally gave birth at home last night, in our master closet. I’ve been still processing the shock of this all, as this was not all at what I had planned, but I am so so thankful for each person who helped bring our son into the world safely. I’ll share my whole birth story soon, but long story short, my waters broke and 75 minutes later I gave birth to our healthy baby boy while clutching a bench in our closet. It was one of the scariest moments of my life because I felt so out of control, but Tanner, Tanner’s mom, my mom and the medics and firefighters kept me going when I felt like the world was caving in on me and my unborn baby. I was going to share the happy, cute Instagrammable pics first, but this felt right to me. So incredibly grateful for the support system we had and for this beautiful boy I get to hold in my arms.
"I've been still processing the shock of this all, as this was not all at what I had planned … I felt so out of control, but Tanner, Tanner's mom, my mom and the medics and firefighters kept me going when I felt like the world was caving in on me and my unborn baby," she wrote.
In another post, Jade shared a photo of herself one week after giving birth, writing in the caption that she was "slowly healing" after her "overwhelming labour and delivery".
"It's taking my uterus more time to return to its normal state this time around, but honestly I have never loved my body more than I have this post-partum," she wrote.
"A lot of you have asked about my recovery, and I received several stitches and am slowly healing physically - the mental and emotional healing is hard to put a finger on, but I am giving myself grace to process everything."
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Women’s bodies are seriously phenomenal! It’s taking my uterus more time to return to its normal state this time around, but honestly I have never loved my body more than I have this postpartum. A lot of you have asked about my recovery, and I received several stitches and am slowly healing physically— the mental and emotional healing is hard to put a finger on, but I am giving myself grace to process everything. But after such an overwhelming labor and delivery, I have so much respect for my body and the journey it’s been on this year to grow and bring this perfect little joy into my life. So in love, so thankful. #oneweekpostpartum #4thtrimester