‘My MIL sabotaged my birth control’
TO MANY people, it might be difficult to understand why a couple would choose not to have children. Like, ever.
But despite our own feelings, there are some people who are happy to live their lives without little ones at their feet.
This is exactly the case with one woman, who posted to Reddit about her extremely interfering mother-in-law, who was caught tampering with the couple's contraceptives.
"My husband and I are adamantly child-free people," the woman began in her post.
"For those of you who don't know exactly what that means, basically we don't want to have kids ... ever. We are in our late 20s and we enjoy our carefree lives so much that we decided that we thought it would be best to never have kids."
She said some people call them 'selfish' but she doesn't judge others for their choices, so she expects the same in return.
Unfortunately for the woman, when they broke the news to her mother-in-law, she "went into hysterics".
The mother-in-law was concerned, "the bloodline and family name will die" with her son.
It resulted in a rather chilly Christmas period, but the couple hoped she would eventually come to terms with their decision.
"Then yesterday happened," she wrote.
The woman shared an incident that had happened the day before which left the pair shaken and concerned.
Her mother-in-law had visited to make her son dinner.
The woman wasn't due to arrive home from work yet when the mother-in-law realised there was an ingredient missing. She asked her son to run the store that's right down the street to get said ingredient that she 'forgot'.
When the woman returned home from work and noticed her husband's car wasn't in the driveway, she made a beeline for her bedroom to change out of her work clothes.
What she discovered in there has left her feeling violated and second guessing everything.
"When I opened the door into our bedroom what I see is what looks like MIL carefully trying to poke holes into our condoms," she wrote.
"She snaps her head in my direction with this mortifying deer in the headlights look on her face. Like a fish out of water.
"She mumbles something about how she's 'trying to save the family' and frantically runs out of the house before I even have a chance to say anything."
The woman explained that she chased her mother-in-law, who jumped into her car and peeled off so fast, she almost ran over her daughter-in-law's foot.
When the husband arrived home, she filled him in on what had happened.
He was "absolutely horrified" and "says he can't believe it and never thought she was capable of such a thing. She's a 'sweet old lady'."
To make matters worse, the mother-in-law, who isn't one for regular visits, had been around three weeks earlier when the wife was out, and now she's worried the same thing had happened then too.
During that visit, the wife was not home, but the husband said his mother "used the bathroom a few times during her visit" and now they're worried this isn't the first time.
Advice came flooding in on the forum, with the vast majority considering such an act to be unforgivable.
"On a practical level I would chuck every single condom you currently have and buy new ones, if you're crazy enough to let her back into your house make sure they are somewhere she can't access," wrote one person, who said they would cut the woman out of their life for this.
"I would also take a pregnancy test to be sure, if she tampered with your BC it's better to know now if it has caused a problem.
"I would try and get proof of her admitting to the tampering (emails or texts etc) and if heaven forbid you are pregnant I would seriously consider pressing charges against her."
Another likened it to rape: "Tampering with someone's birth control without their knowledge or consent is the same as sexual assault of an unconscious person, in my mind," they wrote.
"She deliberately removed your bodily autonomy and control over your sexual activities, which is exactly what happens when a rapist decides to rape someone."
"You have every right to go no contact with her," added another.
"You don't want kids, and she was trying to make you guys have kids. That is assault at best. It's completely abusive behaviour. It's horrific."
In an updated post, the woman says she has since found out she's pregnant.
"I'm so distraught that I haven't been able to sleep in the last four days," she wrote.
"I'm sorry I didn't update sooner, but I've been in a really dark place."
She says neither of them have spoken to the mother-in-law since the incident had taken place, but she is "lost".
"I never wanted to have kids sure, but at the same time having an abortion feels so wrong to me even though it's the most ideal thing to do right now," she said.
"I can't believe I'm in this situation right now. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Finding out you're pregnant can be daunting even when you were trying to conceive, but to be tricked into making a baby, by someone outside of the relationship just seems unimaginable.
Could you ever forgive something like this?
This story originally appeared on Kidspot and has been republished here with permission.