Shock jock KAK has had a gutful, goes rogue
Kerri-Anne Kennerley has joined the ranks of icons moving into the next stage of their careers with reckless abandon - and she doesn't care what Network Ten bosses or Yumi Stynes think.
Just a few months on from being Yumi Stynes-ed (yeah, it's a verb now and it will also never get old) and labelled a "racist", Australia's favourite shock jock KAK was at it again this week, dividing a nation and risking her job with bold views.
Her latest scandal made headlines around the country on Thursday. Thumbnails of her angry face glared out from news websites and social media feeds alongside the quote: "Fire me!"
"Oh my god, what has Yumi called her now," we all gasped. But we were wrong. This was about something completely different, but just as contentious: Bachelor In Paradise.
The Studio 10 panel was talking about that same-sex kiss between Alex Nation and Brooke Blurton when Kerri-Anne was asked for her thoughts.
She basically rolled her eyes all the way back to the early 2000s - a simpler, more intelligent time, when morning TV was about doing the rumba with K-Rudd and chatting to a drunk John Stamos rather than analysing the antics of horny 20-somethings who are day-drinking on an island.
"Seriously?" she sneered at the thought of having to discuss the reality show, which is broadcast by the same network as Studio 10.
"It's moronic!" she boomed about the show and the steamy kiss.
"If people are excited by this, and that's what they're (Network 10) banking on in terms of the ratings, go and do it, fine. I have far more important things to think about and talk about.
"I just think that's titillating television that is moronic, but so is Bachelor In Paradise but that's just me."
As network execs panicked about what the icon's sledging would do to the reality show's audience of literally tens of people, KAK threw fuel on the fire. She taunted her bosses and waved the red flag at them - daring them to charge at her.
"I know it's the network, sorry, so fire me now!" she yelled down the camera.
This column always aims to be fair and balanced, so I should point out that, after claiming to have more important things to discuss on the show, Kerri-Anne then went on to give a detailed demonstration about her versatile gold top could be worn at both daytime and evening functions.
Kerri-Anne has reached the point where she just doesn't care anymore. She has got nothing left to lose and she's going full rock 'n' roll. And she's not alone. All the Aussie showbiz icons are doing it. We saw it last year at the Logies when Bert Newton dropped a gay slur and then made a gag about Graham Kennedy "mentoring" young people in his dressing room. Everyone got up in arms and Bert just shrugged. What were any of us gonna do?
Denise Drysdale also doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks these days. We will never forget how she famously pelted Ita Buttrose with brussels sprouts last year. Very rock 'n' roll. She's the Keith Richards of morning television.
That generation of showbiz movers and shakers are getting reckless. Damn the consequences! Like your nan, they're spouting opinions and feedback whether you like it or not. "#TimesUp!" is their catchcry, and they don't care that they've stolen the slogan off another important movement because, for them, their time is literally almost up.
The younger generation of celebs are too worried about being PC. They're living in fear of online petitions and advertisers and network honchos.
But give it a few years. We can't wait for when, decades from now, Georgie Gardner goes rogue and slags off Love Island and Sam Armytage gives into temptation and hurls a potato at Kochie.
WHY MEGHAN REALLY CAN'T STAND HER STAFF
Another day, another news story about Meghan Markle that contains oddly specific information.
I don't know whose side I'm on when it comes to the apparent feud between the duchess and her staff. On one hand, she sounds like a complete nightmare. But on the other, I'd be a total moll too if my staff kept leaking my confidential details to international press outlets.
The latest story is about yet another nickname royal staff have dubbed Meghan.
First they labelled her Duchess Difficult and, while we appreciate alliteration, it was kind of unimaginative.
Then a few weeks ago they were running around calling her Me-Gain, apparently because she's selfish and is always thinking about what she can get - or something like that. It's a terrible nickname because it has to be explained every time.
"Next!" we told the staff, instructing them to come up with something better.
Now they've presented their latest offering - a bunch of jumbled letters, like R2-D2.
"Everyone's calling her NIMBY, meaning Not In Meghan's Backyard!" an unnamed source excitedly told The Sun, explaining the nickname came about because staff have been told they can't park their cars in a particular area that looks into Meghan's window.
Meghan's staff don't appear to be very bright and they haven't cottoned on to the fact that maybe their boss doesn't like them because they keep staring through her windows from a carpark and calling her weird names.
MAFS STAR BUSTED IN COMPROMISING POSITION
Things have gone from bad to worse for Married At First Sight'sDan Webb. After a trainwreck end to his relationship with Jessika, he has been papped in the most vulnerable of positions: in the supermarket confectionery aisle.
We have discussed the sensitivities of the confectionery aisle in this column before. It's a battlefield - an aisle filled with both delight and shame. No one wants to be seen lurking in the confectionery aisle while clutching multiple family-sized blocks of chocolate. It's humiliating. Particularly when it's late at night and it's obvious you're just going home to eat too many KitKats by yourself.
So Dan has our sympathy. In the unfortunate photo essay that was published on tabloid news websites, he's shown perusing the chips and reaching for a packet of Doritos. What a money shot. In another image, he tosses the chips inside a trolley already filled with various chocolate treats and Easter eggs.
It's the ultimate breakup binge.
Twitter and Facebook: @hellojamesweir