God bless the Goldie … totes amazing!
God bless the Goldie … totes amazing!

The TV you should watch this weekend

WHETHER you're into reno madness, little show-offs or oiled-up Aussies running amok, there really is something for everyone on the box this weekend.

We've sorted through the guide so you don't have to.

GOLDIE SHORE: RADGIES TO RICHES

Need a Geordie Shore fix? Well, you're in luck because Aussies Dee Nguyen, Nick Murdoch, Alex Macpherson and Chrysten Zenoni who starred on the most recent season filmed Down Under have scored their very own short-form spin-off jam-packed with A-list events, and a run-in with Kyle Sandilands. All eight eps have dropped, so crack open a fresh box of wine and enjoy the debauchery.

Available to stream exclusively on Foxtel on Demand

Joanna Lumley completes her Trans-Siberian Railway journey and it’s absolutely fabulous.
Joanna Lumley completes her Trans-Siberian Railway journey and it’s absolutely fabulous.

JOANNA LUMLEY'S TRANS-SIBERIAN ADVENTURE

In the final instalment, Joanna visits Lake Baikal, one of the deepest lakes in the world, skols vodka with a fisherman and bumps into a gaggle of Russian models. As you do.

SBS, Saturday, 7.30pm

It’s all smiles, but not for long … someone forgot the after-dinner mints.
It’s all smiles, but not for long … someone forgot the after-dinner mints.

THE DINNER

Richard Gere, Laura Linney, Steve Coogan and Rebecca Hall star in this drama that centres around two sets of parents, a fancy dinner and a conversation about the heinous things their sons committed together. Expect stunning performances from an outstanding cast.

Foxtel's Masterpiece Movies, Saturday, 8.30pm

Rebecca looks sinister. Don’t even start us on all those split ends.
Rebecca looks sinister. Don’t even start us on all those split ends.

EVIL STEPMOTHERS

Fancy a creepy story about a wicked stepmum? Well, you're in for a treat. Rebecca Osbourne seems charming at first, but disaster is in store for her new groom Jerry Osbourne. He really should have listened to his kids …

Foxtel's TLC, Saturday, 8.30pm

It's Swedish so it’s grim. That’s a given.
It's Swedish so it’s grim. That’s a given.

EVERYTHING'S BETTER THAN A HOOKER

This French documentary looks at the horrific murder of Swedish sex worker Eva-Marree Kullander Smith who was stabbed to death by the father of her children during a meeting with social services.

Foxtel's Crime + Investigation, Saturday, 9.30pm

Octavia Spencer leads the charge as Dorothy Vaughan in Hidden Figures.
Octavia Spencer leads the charge as Dorothy Vaughan in Hidden Figures.

HIDDEN FIGURES

This 2017 Oscar-nominated drama starring Octavia Spencer, Taraji P Henson and Janelle Monae pays tribute to the African-American women who were vital to NASA's space program in the '60s.

Foxtel's Masterpiece Movies, Sunday, 6pm

The cast of The Block? Or a pack of M&M’s come to life? You decide.
The cast of The Block? Or a pack of M&M’s come to life? You decide.

THE BLOCK

Watch five Aussie couples transform The Gatwick, an iconic rundown Melbourne hotel built in 1937, into a real estate dream none of us can afford. The first challenge: deliver an amazing bedroom within 48 hours. The prize: first dibs on the apartments on offer, of course.

Nine, Sunday, 7pm

It’s amazing what you can do with a broom, a Hula Hoop and a bottle of Morning Fresh.
It’s amazing what you can do with a broom, a Hula Hoop and a bottle of Morning Fresh.

LITTLE BIG SHOTS

Precocious pint-sized performers? Check. Jaw-dropping talents? Yep. Shane Jacobson cracking gags? You betcha! Keep your eyes peeled for five-year-old woodchopper Archie and nine-year-old bubble boy Felix!

Channel 7, Sunday, 7pm

If the van’s a rocking … fingers crossed you’re not inside it.
If the van’s a rocking … fingers crossed you’re not inside it.

ALL AUSSIE ADVENTURES

Russell Coight is back and this week he rescues a group of Girl Guides, catches up with an Aboriginal mate for some bush tips and deals with a dangerous snake in a shed. What a perfect way to finish the weekend.

Channel 10, Sunday, 7.30pm

A sight we hope no one ever sees in their local Westfield carpark.
A sight we hope no one ever sees in their local Westfield carpark.

STREET SMART

Steve and his gang of bumbling misfits are officially Australia's dumbest crooks, but that doesn't stop their bind optimism as they hatch hairbrained plans to do no good. Who knew watching failure could be so fun?

Channel 10, Sunday, 8pm

See that ‘Smile Every Day’ sign? Nup? Didn’t think so.
See that ‘Smile Every Day’ sign? Nup? Didn’t think so.

JACK IRISH

As Jack gets closer to the truth, his investigation threatens to tear his world apart. If you wanna know what that means, you know what to do …

ABC, Sunday, 8.30pm

It's all fun and games for Steve, Fredrik and Ryan on Million Dollar Listing New York.
It's all fun and games for Steve, Fredrik and Ryan on Million Dollar Listing New York.

MILLION DOLLAR LISTING NEW YORK

Eye-watering NYC real estate and hunky brokers? Does life get any better? This week Fredrik lists an infamous Chelsea townhouse with an eccentric seller, Ryan entrusts a Park Slope listing to a brand new agent and Steve has new strategy that could make or break his future.

Foxtel's ARENA, Sunday, 8.30pm


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